Damned this creature is back… I’m really starting to think that this dog is yours kitkat ! If so im going to call our blond French BB…
Well, it started off looking like a poodle to PJ’s dog at the bar around midnight but this is how it looked in the AM.
The august Sydney Morning Herald’s sober and considered front page response to the Australian Soccer team’s elimination from the 2006 World Cup on a controversial last second penalty kick to Italy.
Those damn Kibbles 'n Bits Goggles. My dog likes to cut his KnB with Iams to prevent this type of thing from happening. The Irish Terriers laugh at him for it though…jerks…at least he doesn’t need to pay litter support.
GUESS WHO DID NOT WIN THE FLORIDA SANDCASTLE-BUILDING COMPETITION
try this game . . . your cursor makes Zidane headbutt Italian soccer players and you count the number of red cards you can earn in a set time.
could this be the next mrs. trump
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?”
Adam and Eve said, “Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.”
And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I
do, in spite of yourselves.”
And God created a new animal to be a
companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, “Lord, I have already
named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.”
And God said, “No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.”
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.
And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, “Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too
well.”
And God said, “No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever
and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.”
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat’s eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn’t give a @#$% one way or the other.
For those who wanted to know what I look like, I am the man in this picture…ha.
A HELL OF AN ANSWER
The following is an actual question given on a University of Liverpool chemistry final exam.
The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s law that gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that, if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to
more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell. Because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant, the volume of
Hell must expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
-
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose. -
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra
during my freshman year, that “It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is extinct … leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being - which explains why, last night, Sandra kept shouting
“Oh my God.”
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY “A”.
How to tell the sex of a fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” She asked.
“Hunting Flies” He responded.
“Oh. Killing any?” She asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?”
He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”
OMFG… i knew it! LOL!
WHY BOTHER?
now the spotters come in… :eek:
I thought the title of this thread was “Humour and things that make us laugh”? 