I think this is my 4th or 5th journal here. Every journal ends with injuries and frustration after continuous weeks of training obsessions and enthusiasm for reaching some kind of potential - whatever that may be. So I hope this one goes on the right track and brings satisfaction in the end.
I don’t plan to train myself through another year, as I really am the least qualified person to take such responsibility. I need some kind of in person “support”. Besides, I have tried the self-training option, but it only adds to the already existent loneliness that describes track.
So my goal is to get well, and then find a coach. I have a couple of options, it’s just a matter of time, and knowing where I’ll be when that times comes. It’s a transitional phase in my life, and quite interesting, I must add. While all these transitions (moving countries, meeting new people, getting new jobs, having daily culture shocks, failing to adjust, etc etc) add to my psychosomatic disorders, I inconveniently hope my whole life is in transition phase; afterall, it’s the phase in which we learn the most, and our minds grow.
Back to my initial point… I’m one of the “pile of messed up athletes” that collegiate programs produce, with the only difference that I haven’t had enough of running, and don’t feel like stopping, one bit. In fact, I have no idea what it feels like to train through one single season uninjured.
I don’t want to go through my past injuries, as they’re in the past; re-thinking about them is useless, plus only healthy thoughts will bring a healthy body 
(the law of attraction… :rolleyes: )
So this summer is all about recovery (which has been going on since January 2008), and since I’m on my own on this, I decided to post another journal for “support” and sharing 
By the end of August I’ll be able to roll again. Or even by tomorrow. I don’t care when; as long as I concentate on healing at this moment, all should go well.
I might take up yoga afterall.
Training:
I’ve been doing long isometric holds since Febrary. That’s pretty much it. I abandoned weights before 2008. I actually feel stronger now after all these isos, than when I used to squat 240lbs… I’m being told I look stronger too. Whatever.
They work for me. Don’t attack me when you read about 1-hour iso holds. :o
About a week ago, I added some light jogging to see where my knee is at. Although I can jog, and do A skips, B skips, and running A’s with no problem, I have irritation if I start to stride, and going faster than a stride is still a scary thought for me (I fractured my kneecap while sprinting 10m and heard a crack. Doc said I was this close to having a chunk come out; that would require surgery). I’m aware that fear has to go away, otherwise I’ll always be vulnerable. It’s just another step I have to take for bettering myself.
I’m not gonna sit down and write a plan. I’m telling you from now that I’m either gonna be doing isometrics and drills on the track for strength and speed, or swimming tempo in the pool for conditioning, as recovery days. I might add some MB later on.
It’s harder to motivate myself than 2 years back. The truth is, I’m mentally tired. So this journal is about finding mental strength and translating it into training. And life.
Wish me luck.
. Yet…
)