thanks gloop…
I actually had a long talk with my friend Jack Daniels and his friends Busch light and rum… helpful in its way.
tommorow is lifting and conditioning practice, so it will be a better day. track starts in less than a month, so i will be happier i hope.
8 months and no period.
Kras,
I haven’t been posting much recently but I have been following your journal when I check in from time to time 
I have a question for you
Do you want to be a good FH player or a good track athlete?
I really think you need to stop playing FH and concentrate on a general fitness routine until track starts. You are physically and mentally burning yourself out.
Why jeopardize your track career by playing a sport you aren’t really serious about? (FH)
You need to let your body recover. Rest, eat, sleep, get used to school. Train a couple of times a week but do only general stuff.
How is your diet looking now? I know you were a little low on the food intake for a while and feeling tired as a result.
Believe me with the performances and training you have put in this past year, a months rest with general conditioning work and good eating will do you a TON of good.
You will be healthy and energetic when the track season starts
All the best Kras
Cheers,
Chris
I know… I agree that playing really is not doing anything for me, but at this point I feel like I have put so much into it, and track is in a month… I don’t know, I’m not sure how I would quit at this point if I wanted to, I am just really conflicted about being a quitter, and i have always played sports all three seasons. The structure seems to keep me from getting into MORE trouble and drinking myself retarded every 2 nights.
Then again, it is driving me crazy. I don’t think it’s just field hockey itself, it is probably a combination of that on top of adjusting to being here because I am not great at dealing with change. Lots of things going on at once outside of school, plus the ridiculous academic environment is crazy. But you also have to consider that I’m a total masochist 
and I guess I get some kind of weird satisfaction from being overwhelmed and hurting- I don’t really know how to explain it, it just makes me feel more alive and like I am accomplishing more in the end. That’s why I will be suffering and I’ll recognize it and even write it down here, but I know that I won’t quit and that I’ll do 5 events at meets when track starts, and I’ll be an assault counselor and I’ll sing and I’ll take hard classes and be the friend that everyone comes to talk to and everything else you can think of because it’s all about the pain and the pleasure.
There’s more to it than that, but honestly… how else could I be a 400 runner? haha 
anyway, today was conditioning: lots of stick work which is killer on the lower back, plus a lot of running and some sets of bench jumps w/some plyo variations, emphasis on volume.
I was supposed to go lift today, but I honestly had NO time so it will have to wait until tommorow. It is probably for the better- I felt like I was going to throw up before, during, and after practice, so it probably would be too much tonight. The lifting is frustrating me a lot- I worked really hard over the summer and got a LOT stronger, and I feel like I am losing it because I have not been able to focus at all on work and a lot of my free time is spent desparately finishing things that are due when I would be lifting instead. Goddamn.
The ankle was aching after the conditioning, but I iced it and it feels ok. Too much time spent in stupid cleats.
As for my diet, it is pretty good, considering the completely new food situation I am in. My biggest issue is that I am addicted to fruit of all kinds and I would eat fruit fruit fruit nonstop all day long, but the fruit here SUCKS and the salad bar is good instead, so I have been eating a lot less fruit and a lot more veggies and it’s just… different. They do a pretty good job having healthy things though. I am eating a lot more than I was over the summer and I’m feeling really uneasy about whether or not I’m gaining weight, but not having a scale in my room helps. The biggest difference is that my sense of time is skewed, so that I stay up until 3am regularly but I eat dinner even earlier than I did at home, so I get hungry at night and drink a LOT of coffee and diet coke. I need to get back on my vitamins, start carrying water with me again, and just… get a handle on myself.
change is not necessarily bad. its just something ur not used to. i used to think like u, but now when i look back at it i think, its not really THAT bad. its just different. now i have friends here and there, and i get to see others during holidays and stuff. its just the way life is sometimes u GOTTA move on.
as for track, if hockey is not serving u any benefits on the track then go away from it. im actually doing rugby now twice a week to work on my aerobic and anaerobic fitness cause i know if i put some cones and do em alone im not gona benefit crap. once i know i have what i wanted there’s A LOT in track that needs sorting. keep that in mind, if u want to be special in any sport, it has to be only one.
gluck girl and take care of urself, what im reading of u right now is an image of my own diary two years ago. trust me, itll pass by like wind, and ul realize that change is actually good sometimes.
komy
thanks komy
Had a pretty hard practice today, but not like yesterday. fair amount of running. captains want to meet with me tommorow- i wonder if its too much to hope that they’re going to give me the chance to get out! more likely they’ll tell me that i don’t have to go to maine with them this weekend (which would be great) or maybe i’m going to hear about how i’m giving us a bad image because football players can’t keep their hands off! haha :rolleyes:
Also went and modeled for two hours- usually for my 40 minute pose I lie down and go to sleep, but someone in the class was doing a painting and asked if I could try standing. So yay i’m in a painting, but my ankle is a little achy because I had already done a lot of standing, thinking i’d be able to lie down later. I wonder if my ankle will ever be back completely the way it was.
something i ate gave me a stomach-ache… why does the dining hall not agree with me 
what a night… thank god i got my 8 hours of sleep, finally.
it’s an off-day, much needed.
i was right about the football player lecture- but there is still a chance that i won’t go to maine and i made it pretty clear that i would rather not go if i don’t have to, without being rude. slight possibility that i’ll go back to boston this weekend.
had a really weird day-
i slept between 6am and 9:30am (don’t ask) went to class and work, then came back a slept for two hours and woke up feeling kind of sick. someone on my floor has some strepe-throat type pf sickness, hopefully i can avoid that.
played a field hockey game for an hour today, felt neutral. I found out that i don’t have to go to maine, better luck!! I’m not sure yet if i will go HOME home, go home to visit people, or just stay here and get my tongue pierced. But it will be a good break, we have mon and tues off from classes so i can take some time to just BREATHE.
tonight will be an all-nighter, but at least now there is hope…
I like tongue rings on girls.
rest and plan a bubble bath…something to enjoy.
if by bubbles you mean alcohol… 
no practice today or for the next few days, a lot of people are leaving because it is our reading period, but i guess i am hanging around here and hopefully getting some work done and maybe some lifting in. it is gorgeous weather probably for the last time this fall, but if i do anything it will just be an easy run.
my throat still feels a little iffy so today is off, and tommorow i will probably do a track workout.
and yes, i got my tongue pierced which i guess could potentially make me not want to go running tommorow… we’ll see. so far its not very painful at all.
had a discussion with my track coach, and he’s probably going to pull me out of field hockey once track starts, since the two seasons will overlap and there is no point in me missing out on training to waste my time on the bench at FH tournament games.
bubble baths…showers are fast and just relaxing is nice. Epsom Salt baths are even better…maybe the bubbles from the magnesium are the creators of the bubbles and not the soap (fightclub).
Why did you get your tounge peirced, that can only hurt your running. My attitude is that its better to buy a cool hat to make a statement then to get a peircing or a tatoo.
No. They’re awesome.
a tounge ring is a little too much for me. I really like candy rings though !!! 
Grape and Green Apple are hot flavors!!!
throat still feels iffy, feel a little run-down in general. starting to cough up germs onto my piercing would be bad news.
how would my tongue hurt my running term??
it is actually doing extremely well, i can still eat and talk.
I thought a tounge ring would mess with your breathing
i don’t know since I haven’t actually tried yet, but it’s really not that big- the size of a pea maybe, and a pretty small one. If it were swelling it might interfere, but i have been lucky so far :rolleyes: and the swelling would go down relatively quickly anyway.
if it does hinder things, i’ll post a warning!!! the only thing it is bothering is eating- it doesn’t hurt, but since i have to swish with listerine EVERY time i put something in my mouth, i am not snacking as much and i get hungry. 
I feel like I am getting sick again, and I just got OVER being sick a week ago :mad:
this time it is more coughing, so I slept a lot today and was sure to take my vitamins and didn’t go to practice since it was night practice in the cold and rain (our turf field just opened up.) I don’t know, i need to get ahold my myself, sleep better, study more efficiently, and just generally get into a routine so I can train well when track starts. even though i have been here over a month the adjustment is still tough- i don’t feel homesick consciously, but i know deep down i am still having trouble.
normally i would be working out every day, obsessively, but now i haven’t since thursday and i’m just like… blah about it. I can’t wait for my track coach to yank me from field hockey.
the tongue is doing well, but i can’t afford to get sick… i need my immune system working on keeping infections away from that and not working on keeping my lungs in order!
easy practice, still feel crappy but i have to be ready to face the world again tommorow.
planning on a lift and a run since we have a game (i.e. an off-day for me) tommorow.