came home at 7:30am again, but got a few hours of sleep at least. suffered at work because the office was completely dead. there was one period of excitement though, while we looked at an article about a morbidly obese man (complete with pictures) who just sat up with assistance for the first time in 3 years. horrifying… poor guy. he and his sister and wife were evicted, trying to live on $1,500 a month!
anyway, i went for another 30+ min. run in the dusk, it was pretty nice out. I am having trouble getting motivated to lift properly, mainly an issue of flipping about weight again. i need to go back to watching my diet more closely again… then maybe i’ll lift again. for now i have been doing core, standing squats, pushups, etc.
If your having “issues” about size then maybe just stick to tempo pushups and situps and let the body reset itself. It wouldn’t really cause you harm if you get high volume on them and just let the work capacity increase, even throwin chinsup. The realy challenge is staying IN shape and then getting re-motivated for real training in the fall!
ah i am so glad you said that… after 5 years straight of training with virtually NO time off, i am sort of exhausted mentally. plus, that sort of work is much easier to keep up with given the limitations of being in the city and having a busy schedule. having said that, i have always been extremely focused and a very hard worker and it’s strange to me to not be following a strict program, and even more strange to have part of me not even want to.
a few people close to me have suggested that some of my distress could be a reaction to what happened to me in april, because i never really showed any anger, refused counseling, and likely will not press charges. But the last time i was this out of control was four years ago when something similar but worse happened to me… you think you can put it behind you when you’re attacked and have to get surgery, but it really never goes away!
anyway enough of the weepiness, with some time the motivation will come back. I have absolutely no motivation to perform for my school or for my coach who treated me like trash, but in the end i will want it for myself.
I saw Batman Begins and Bruce was challanged to be the man behind the mask through his actions. It does matter who you are deep down but it matters more who you are through your actions.
I have been trying to reduce the drinking with some success, I am really more concerned about the amount I am smoking. I am kind of ashamed to even post about it, it is disgusting, but i need to STOP :mad:
long runs and core lately… I got to get out to whole foods and buy a lot of good stuff to eat which is really nice.
i miss sprinting, it might be almost time to get back on a program. i need some order in my life.
Well i’d deff quit smoking! Sometimes when life feels overwhelimg u need to stop and look around, and smell the roses. The challenge is not to let it overwhelm u and become u but to let your desires and your destination YOU want to become what your life is:D
yes i agree- i certainly wouldn’t say that i’m A Smoker, i just get anxious and need to be fidgeting sometimes, and there you go. It’s bad. Clemson & co. have kicked my butt a bit, he’s right that hurtling out of control gets old and it’s not going to make me any happier in the end.
went for a fast-paced run w/hills last night with a lucky former member of the forum then a long cool-down stretch. I have taken my flexibility for granted for a long time, so I was a little surprised to be pretty tight last night. It did feel good to loosen up after camping out on the Mall all day long.
You reap what you sow. Don’t let the grim reaper harvest your soul young lady. Invest your time with real frinds…not people that you enjoy hanging out with. Change starts today and don’t create drama.
I was in a simliar boat for 10 years and it took a bad spin to create a rebirth. Either you addapt to the change or die from it and be extinct.
the nicotine gives u a buzz similar to being slightly smacked, no one does that shit to look cool, they do it for the buzz, then get addicted by the time it stops giving you the buzz
fletcher brooks, the one coach that kept me from filling out transfer applications, is LEAVING to coach at another school.
i fucking hate when people do this and don’t even prepare you at all. granted his program didn’t work so great for me last year so maybe i will have the chance to train with ralph and do field on alternate days as i was used to in HS. So i guess it could be a good thing… at least i don’t have to worry about him killing me if my lifting tests aren’t what they should be.
but EVEN SO i fucking hate when people do this shit behind your back and don’t tell you, it’s like sneaking away… and worse that i didn’t even hear it from him. plus that means i wasted a year on a program that im not even going to develop now. i should take a year off, get my head together, get that extra year of training in, and come back.
this is the kind of thing exactly that would send me on a drinking binge without really knowing why.
That’s some crazy stuff… just try to take it in stride. Just my opinion, but take the rest of the summer to unwind like you have.
Everything will work out, and you know where to find help
I got a second-degree burn from the tailpipe of my friend’s motorcycle! oww
I emailed my head coach (the one i had so many problems with) a loong email, and pretty much took responsibility for the things I did to hinder myself and sent a clear message that I intend to renew my efforts this year and in return I would like to start with a clean slate. I requested that my training be shifted to better suit my strengths, and what better time to do that than now, with a new coach coming in? He responded very favorably, so I will hold off on transferring for the time being.
of course this means that i need to live up to my eloquent words with appropriate actions when i return to school. might as well get it alllll out of my system now
long-ish run w/hill, not really in the condition to run it… wine is not good fuel.
I am waking up in the morning to go the gym and lift properly. I have been drinking almost every day, it is habit-forming, and I need to be more careful. I know I am sounding like I am repeating my drunken woes every day, but that’s because in reality thats how things have been and when I review my journal periodically I don’t want to be able to deny it.
now stretching and lots of water, and I am determined to sleep in my own bed tonight.
Hey Kras, haven’t checked in for a while. Don’t want to sound harsh, but after reading your journal posts over the past year? or so. I feel it neccessary to say my piece…
I think that maybe you use this site and this journal for an excuse to justify your “demons”, maybe like confession or something…gotta be honest, it’s getting a a bit tired reading, as well as quite depressing. Trust me, you aren’t the only one who has a hard time, and life is just that…life. Shit happens, and you need to focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives, which so seem to constantly do.
I am in a career that means I’m away from home 4-5 days out of 7, and constantly living out of a suitcase and hotels during that time. No creature comforts, no regular home cooked meals, having to find public transport and check in advance where training facilities are, and travelling up to 2 hours to get to a track sometimes. But you know what, I just do it. No complaits. Nothing. Cause I know that I have a goal that needs to be achieved.
I know that bad shit happens. Trust me, I’ve been there. But you deal with it, you know? Have you thought about getting some professional help or councelling? Or just someone to talk to? Because it sounds like you are having alot of trouble dealing with things yourself. But honestly, it’s not fair that you make everyone else feel miserable in the process. I love reading about your training sessions, good and bad, because that’s how it goes…but the other stuff…it’s getting a bit much…
Once again, sorry to be so blunt, but this a website for sporting exploits, and I don’t think that you are doing it justice or anyone else with all the other stuff.
Please Kras, start to look after yourself. Life ain’t that bad…and at the end of the day, it’s only sport…
Although you have given her some good advice, I think it’s inappropriate for you to tell Kra what to post. This is her Journal. If she thinks it’s relevant to write about how she wiped her ass everyday, then so be it. And if that troubles you, you don’t have to read her journal.
then a long cool-down stretch. I have taken my flexibility for granted for a long time, so I was a little surprised to be pretty tight last night. It did feel good to loosen up after camping out on the Mall all day long.
