I guess you can say im crazy for doing this. Im scared. Im nervous. I’m afraid to fail.
I think inside of us there is the bit of self doubt that wants to bring you down when you set out to accomplish something. I guess im through that now… To introduce myself, my name is B. I am 21 and my journey that has brought up to this point has been a bit rocky. I ran the 400 and 300m hurdles in high school. Good enough to get a track scholarship to one of the best sprint community colleges in the country in Kansas. Now before I go on,part of me writing this journal is to be completely honest about how things are, and with myself, so I will go into some back ground. When i got out of school, I was 189 pounds and heavy. I mean I could run but I differently have used a diet(I was 5’10). I never really worked hard and was scared of the pain my race needed me to endure to be sucessful. So I slacked…just ran off of talent. When I got to Kansas,I thought things would be different… I would train hard, and get it going…Not…the quality of talent there intimidated me. And my work ethic sucked. But to an extent i tryed. And saw some results until things outside of track got in my way. Its amazing how business interferes with the lives of people. And for once,my problems had absolutely nothing to do with me. So I came home after a semester at school.Embarassed and dejected… This wasn’t where I was supposed to be… I fell out of love with track. I tryed to regain it after being invited to the USA Junior Elite Camp in San Diego at the olympic training center… It was fun but I was far to overweight(200 pounds) and i hated track.So I balooned up to 210 pounds and just lived a normal boring life.
Three years later here I am… Alive,focused and new. I couldnt live my life as someone who never did anything with his talents or skills. I see the people around me and realize that the people in my neighborhood have done really nothing with there lives and if I didnt change I was gonna die, or be a bum. So I got around some old friends and got back into olympic taekwondo(I am a second dan black belt…) The sport saved my life, as I enguffed myself in it. And over a year at 184 pounds I was a national level competitor. So in the fall of 2004 I decided to go to a lower division the required me to go down to 158 pounds. And I did it, maybe unhealthy but I did it…And it felt good.Within 2005 I was trying out the united states national team.And the weights I was lifting I was at 172 pounds of muscle.It feel good,and I keep lifting and losing more weight. Now I arrive at 165 pounds and in the best shape of my life. This spurred people to asked me why arent I running again… More and more people asked me and after thought, I caved in.
So here I am and I sit at this computer with my journey. Back on the track. 21 years old 5’11 165 pounds. Im a way more mature and understand the things in my life have made me better and stronger. And I have never been one to take the easy road,so Im going for it.
My goal is to run 48-49 seconds in the 400m by May 26th. Why? Well I have one year of eligibility under the NCAA after this year,and I want to run division 1 track. And the school in my hometown told me if I can break 49 in the 400 I can walk on which I have no problem doing.Now, I want to this for myself as well, but the most important factor is my father. He has been there through thick and thin and he never left. And when I was running he was at his happiest. And I want him to see my do this. For me,this is my olympics. For him to see me carry the baton for a division 1 school. I love my dad for driving to Kansas to come get me overnight to bring me home. He sold his chevy nova to help me get settled. He is as much apart of this as I am. So I have FEB,MARCH,APRIL AND part of May to do this. I have been on the track for two weeks not but i never had a set program. Thanks to the LACTATE thread, I am following an outline that I think suits me.
The scary thing about all this is, I have no idea where I am at as far as my running. I dont know my foot speed, or anything that will give me an indication of what it will be like for me. Some people say I willl be faster because of the weight loss and strength Ive gained since 2003. I am lighter and I can see my abs. I could never do that in high school. But I know that for not runnning that long, I may be slower than ever. The only way to find out is to go for it. Im scared as hell and I might fail. But I will try to run as fast a God will allow me. And I run 49 so be it. If not, I will move. But I WANT TO so bad…And I feel I can.
So this journal is my journey and my thoughts through this… I am going to be as real as possible posting my workouts(running and weights),emotions and just other stuff in general. I accept all comments,criticism and advice or motivation. I am still learning, and this is my epic saga so to say hahahaa. So thank you guess for taking the time out to read all this ish… More to come tommorow.
Goals:49.9 may 26th
200.22.00
100 :10.78
First meet: March 18th or march 23rd…
