All Blacks for sale on Trade Me
Downcast Kiwi sports fans have shown their humorous side in the face of the weekend’s disappointing Rugby World Cup exit with attempts to sell the All Blacks, the referee and the IRB team on Trade Me.
This morning Trade Me pulled one ad offering the All Blacks team with bids having reached $11 - just a day after their shock quarterfinal exit from the tournament in France.
However, by early this afternoon, another had appeared purporting to sell a “used All Black team”. It was also withdrawn this afternoon by Trade Me.
The seller, listed in Huntly, had said the team was "fully reconditioned earlier this year, and all parts rotated.
"Unfortunately the choke is stuck on full.
“Pickup from Auckland Airport.”
One person, who had bid $1 asked that it be withdrawn as a cheaper model had just been secured at Sydney Airport for 50c while the seller declined a trade for a lemon, stating the “taste in my mouth is already too strong”.
Queried whether the team came with “cotton wool” the seller said packaging had already been donated to the thousands of unfortunate supporters who paid their hard earned money to watch them. “But please note - this isn’t the gutless model, it is the brainless model … worth considerably less … the dumbest All Black team ever!”
The seller also added: “Never before has so much been given to so few in return for so little.”
Also listed have auctions for the referee Wayne Barnes and the credibility of the IRB.
The IRB “seller” said he was “not expecting this to sell for much, as it’s a bit old and runs pretty unpredictably. As a result I wouldn’t buy it expecting that you’ll be able to turn the game into a truly international sport such as football, as its pretty convoluted.”
The seller then listed numerous faults with the IRB from the refereeing appointment to colour clashes with jerseys and added they didn’t have the heart to fix it.
The earlier listing attempting to sell the All Blacks, posted by “surferboy83” from Manukau in Auckland read “Used All Blacks, damaged, emotional, heart broken, selling due to needing a new team to win for NZ in 2011. Grab a bargin (sic). Note whole team will be sold as a group.”
Questions posted for this auction queried whether buyers would get value for money.
“Starting bid of $1 is a bit steep isn’t it?”, one person queried.
Another asked whether refunds would be given for defective goods, but the seller responded the team was being sold “as is where is”.
Individually up for sale were Neemia Tialata and Jerry Collins - “brand new, never used”.
Fans - no doubt hoping to forget the whole sad event - were also quick to put memorabilia up for sale.
A “wet and limp” All Blacks flag was described as being limp like the team it represented and wet like the “wet fish referee” we had to endure.
Another flag was described as being damp from wiping tears and came with suggested new uses, including tying French legs together, blindfolding the English, shoving in the referee’s mouth or cleaning the touch judges’ glasses.
For those trying to keep things in perspective badges can be purchased, featuring a picture of the elusive Web Ellis trophy and the words “It’s Just a Stupid Cup (I’m dying inside)”.
-with NZPA