Realize that your experience is not the same as everyone’s. I have had a fair share of crappy experiences with coaches in all sports, but have had the opposite as well. Two of the most influential people in my life (positively) were coaches, one football and one track. Completely different perspectives and they taught me a lot AND had a lot of success (with me and many others).
Your concerns are quite excessive to the point of scary, IMO. I would worry about letting the kid find out what he/she enjoys doing before deciding what is appropriate for their training later on.