The Most Intensely Horrible High School Girls’ Hurdles Race You’ll Ever See.
Highschool hurdles… the greatest event on earth You Can Do it.
Original Link: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mne/1239968258.html
[b]Failed Dunks Compilation.
[/b]
That’s great. I guess the orangutan let everyone know how he felt about the contest. That was a nice piss there.
This didn’t exactly make me laugh but absolutely amazing none the less.
Danny Ilabaca - Choose Not To Fall.
Best of Daniel Ilabaca.
This is excellent.
Conspiracy Theory: Jesse Ventura Investigates the Pro Wrestling Hoax.
Skateboarding Dog.
that daniel ilabaca parkour video was one of the most amazing things i think ive ever seen. holy cow.
What beats me is the ability to pre-judge the distance of his jumps.
Imagine, a mere 1-inch misjudgement could result in his death.
SO TRUE!!
1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.
6.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
9.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!
10.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11…Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
12.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13.< /b>Murphy’s Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14.Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
15.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don’t know what you are talking about.
16.Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
17.Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking --A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!!!
18.Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19.Doctors’ Law - If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better… But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.
KitKat
From the beginning you have added a great deal to this place in cyber world…
It is always good to laugh.
As Irish as They Get!!
Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster!
Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!
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A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whiskey.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he’d like a drink.
He replied in disgust “I’d rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!”
Paddy handed his drink back and said “Me too, I didn’t know we had a choice!”
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Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks “How many people are flying with you ?”
Paddy replies “I don’t know! It’s your f***ing plane!”
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Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy “I’m gonna have the day off, I’m gonna pretend I’m mad!”
He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down and shouts “I’M A LIGHTBULB! I’M A LIGHTBULB!” Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts “Paddy you’re mad, go home” So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
“Where the hell are you going?” asks the Foreman.
“I can’t work in the friggin’ dark!” says Murphy.
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Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says “I wonder how the girls are getting on”
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Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spreadeagled and says “You know what I want don’t you ?”
“Yeah,” says Paddy… “The whole friggin’ bed by the looks of it!”
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Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not
servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
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Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head to which Paddy said “I don’t think that’s her, she wasn’t that tall!”
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Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours’ dog is barking like
mad in the garden. Paddy says “To hell with this!” and storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks “What did you do?”
Paddy replies “I’ve put the dog in our garden. Let’s see how they like it!”
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Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick says “Crikey! There’s a bloke here who was 152!”
Paddy says “What’s his name ?”
Mick replies “Miles, from London !”
oldie but a goodie…
Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning:
“Windows frozen.”
Husband texts back:
“pour some luke warm water over it.”
Wife texts back:
“computer completely fucked now”
Facts, 360 B.C.-A.D. 2012
In memoriam: After years of health problems, Facts has finally died.
April 19, 2012|By Rex W. Huppke, Chicago Tribune reporter
A quick review of the long and illustrious career of Facts reveals some of the world’s most cherished absolutes: Gravity makes things fall down; 2 + 2 = 4; the sky is blue.
But for many, Facts’ most memorable moments came in simple day-to-day realities, from a child’s certainty of its mother’s love to the comforting knowledge that a favorite television show would start promptly at 8 p.m.
Over the centuries, Facts became such a prevalent part of most people’s lives that Irish philosopher Edmund Burke once said: “Facts are to the mind what food is to the body.”
To the shock of most sentient beings, Facts died Wednesday, April 18, after a long battle for relevancy with the 24-hour news cycle, blogs and the Internet. Though few expected Facts to pull out of its years-long downward spiral, the official cause of death was from injuries suffered last week when Florida Republican Rep. Allen West steadfastly declared that as many as 81 of his fellow members of theU.S. House of Representatives are communists.
Facts held on for several days after that assault — brought on without a scrap of evidence or reason — before expiring peacefully at its home in a high school physics book. Facts was 2,372.
“It’s very depressing,” said Mary Poovey, a professor of English at New York University and author of “A History of the Modern Fact.” “I think the thing Americans ought to miss most about facts is the lack of agreement that there are facts. This means we will never reach consensus about anything. Tax policies, presidential candidates. We’ll never agree on anything.”
Facts was born in ancient Greece, the brainchild of famed philosopher Aristotle. Poovey said that in its youth, Facts was viewed as “universal principles that everybody agrees on” or “shared assumptions.”
But in the late 16th century, English philosopher and scientist Sir Francis Bacon took Facts under his wing and began to develop a new way of thinking.
“There was a shift of the word ‘fact’ to refer to empirical observations,” Poovey said.
Facts became concrete observations based on evidence. It was growing up.
Through the 19th and 20th centuries, Facts reached adulthood as the world underwent a shift toward proving things true through the principles of physics and mathematical modeling. There was respect for scientists as arbiters of the truth, and Facts itself reached the peak of its power.
But those halcyon days would not last.
People unable to understand how science works began to question Facts. And at the same time there was a rise in political partisanship and a growth in the number of media outlets that would disseminate information, rarely relying on feedback from Facts.
“There was an erosion of any kind of collective sense of what’s true or how you would go about verifying any truth claims,” Poovey said. “Opinion has become the new truth. And many people who already have opinions see in the ‘news’ an affirmation of the opinion they already had, and that confirms their opinion as fact.”
Though weakened, Facts managed to persevere through the last two decades, despite historic setbacks that included President Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky, the justification for President George W. Bush’s decision to invade Iraq and the debate over President Barack Obama’s American citizenship.
Facts was wounded repeatedly throughout the recent GOP primary campaign, near fatally when Michele Bachmann claimed a vaccine for a sexually transmitted disease causes mental retardation. In December, Facts was briefly hospitalized after MSNBC’s erroneous report that GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s campaign was using an expression once used by the Ku Klux Klan.
But friends and relatives of Facts said Rep. West’s claim that dozens of Democratic politicians are communists was simply too much for the aging concept to overcome.
As the world mourned Wednesday, some were unwilling to believe Facts was actually gone.
Gary Alan Fine, the John Evans Professor of Sociology at Northwestern University, said: “Facts aren’t dead. If anything, there are too many of them out there. There has been a population explosion.”
Fine pointed to one of Facts’ greatest battles, the debate over global warming.
“There are all kinds of studies out there,” he said. “There is more than enough information to make any case you want to make. There may be a preponderance of evidence and there are communities that decide something is a fact, but there are enough facts that people who are opposed to that claim have their own facts to rely on.”
To some, Fine’s insistence on Facts’ survival may seem reminiscent of the belief that rock stars like Jim Morrison are still alive.
“How do I know if Jim Morrison is dead?” Fine asked. “How do I know he’s dead except that somebody told me that?”
Poovey, however, who knew Facts as well as anyone, said Facts’ demise is undoubtedly factual.
“American society has lost confidence that there’s a single alternative,” she said. “Anybody can express an opinion on a blog or any other outlet and there’s no system of verification or double-checking, you just say whatever you want to and it gets magnified. It’s just kind of a bizarre world in which one person’s opinion counts as much as anybody else’s.”
Facts is survived by two brothers, Rumor and Innuendo, and a sister, Emphatic Assertion.
Services are alleged to be private. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that mourners make a donation to their favorite super PAC.
Brilliant Article.
Funny basketball “set-up” in da hood
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySMVPBtQu7Y&feature=youtube_gdata_player