As transcribed from various bathroom walls…
Friends don’t let friends
take home ugly men
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
The best way to a man’s heart
is to saw his breast plate open.
Murphy’s, Champaign, IL
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC
I’ve decided that to raise my grades
I must lower my standards.
Harvard University, Cambridge, MA
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let’s all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand’s Pizza, Washington, DC
Remember, it’s not,
“How high are you?”
“Hi, how are you?”
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia
God made pot.
Man made beer.
Who do you trust?
The Irish Times, Washington, DC
Fighting for peace is like
screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her crap.
Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC
To do is to be. - Descartes
To be is to do. - Voltaire
Do be do be do. - Frank Sinatra
Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, AZ
At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ
It’s hard to make a comeback
when you haven’t been anywhere.
Written in the dust
on the back of a bus,
Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MO
God is dead. - Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. - God
The Tombs Restaurant, Washington, DC
If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
New York, New York.
A Woman’s Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
you’re going to have trouble with it.
Dick’s Last Resort, Dallas, TX
If pro is opposite of con,
then what is the opposite of progress?
House of Representatives, Washington, DC
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic’s, Phoenix, AZ
You’re too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom
Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills,CA.
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom,
Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills,CA