Futon, Waterbed, or Airmatress?

Members Area Member Polls
1

This is it… the biggest poll there ever done lived. The most improtant debate that man has ever faced.

Futons: Have long been the meat and potatoes of Hippie and Yuppie sleeping devices. Often doubling as a couch, this versatile and rugged sleeping surface has provided the overweight (and underweight) bearded-weed-toking sleeper with an unusually large surface area to sleep upon. And rest assured folks, if there is an earthquake these bad boys are going NO WHERE! They weigh in at approx 110-200lbs apiece depending upon the size.

Waterbeds: Ever since Jeff Jeffstofferson invented the plastic water-sack container system in 1964 waterbeds have stormed onto the sleeping scene with such ferocity and variety that even Austin Powers had to have his own shag-covered version. (It is important to note that the wool and oil models standard before Dr. Jeffstofferson’s plastic-sack method were… less than water tight) But now the waterbed is a cult classic, loved and reveared by numerous sleepers both young and old.

Airmatresses: Having only recently come onto the sleep-scene, these wonders of technological achievement represent the best that today’s scientists have to offer. Independent variable controll? You got it. Different memory settings so you don’t get your settings confused with you wife’s boy-toy-fling-thing? That comes standard on most models. And numbers! Oh you mathematicions will love these marvels. When you push the + button: the number will GO UP! Miraculous I know! But wait… it gets better! When you push the - button: that SAME number will GO DOWN! Amazing isn’t it!? Now whether this number has any effect on the air-pressure inside your matress. Well, that’s for the scientists to decide.

Now, the facts are down. The information has been presented, but the fight is not over! Cast your vote and decide who will win! Will it be the transformer? The Shag-meister classic? Or the scientific marvel?

2

They’re voting, but not commenting Igor. What should we do?

“Offer them horse livers…”

Shutup Igor. That may work at T-nation, but not here!

“Give them free samples?”

Free samples? Free samples of WhAT?!

“Well I was thinking THE…”

NO Igor! Not that. They wouldn’t want that anyway. I thought I told you not to bring that up.

“I’m sorry master! I didn’t mean to…”

No, ‘I’m sorry master’ isn’t good enough. Back into… dramatic music cue The Cage!

“The CaGE!? Not the CAGE! Please! Please master!”

3

Airmattress everytime! Though having said that it was the + - controls that swung it for me!!!

4

Overall, I definitely have to go with a futon.

While I find none of the selections particularly comfortable, the futon wins because it is the least uncomfortable, and because of the versatility.

In college, a friend gave me his water bed. After sleeping on it for a semester, I found out why he was so eager to part with it. Horrible shoulder and hip pain, and sticky skin if the cover sheet slips and exposes the bladder. High point of waterbeds: filling the bladder up outside as much as possible with a hose (it gets about 5x the size), then slicing it with a knife is AWESOME. I recommend it to everyone who doesn’t care about their front lawn or neighbors.

Air Mattresses might be the worst. I’ve never used one that didn’t deflate on me during the night, or one that didn’t put immense pressure on my hips and shoulders. I have an inflatable sleeping mat for backpacking that I find MUCH more comfortable than a regular air mattress.

5

With a thunderous clap and a dramatic puff of smoke, the Gods entered the voting hall. Zues’s rippling muscles, Athena’s shimmering curves, and Hades’ quivering aura commanded the attention of the stunned bystanders.

“We in all of our Godliness have decided that your pole is worth our votes,” began Zues in his cookie-cutter hero voice, “you see this pole is not a simple mortal matter. Though God’s and mortals are about as different as supernovas and paper mache kittens, we do share a similarity with mortals. Gods, must rest. And when we rest, we must rest mightily and God…i…ly. So we have decided that our votes must be cast!”

Though initially stunned by the very impressive entrance of the three gods, the mortal bystanders returned to filling out cards and waiting in line before Zues had even begun to speak.

“Master?”

“SSSHHH!! Igor you must be quiet!” I hissed and kicked his cage.

Zues stepped before me. “WHERE…CAN…I…CAST…MY…VOTE?” he shouted slowly into my face, as if I did not speak English.

“Zues, sir, lord…”

“Your Godliness will suffice.”

“Your Godliness, if you would just follow me.” I bowed and scraped all the way to the voting booth. Carefully I moved the curtain aside.

“In here your Godliness, you simply pull this lever.”

Without another look at me, Zues stepped into the booth. His massive shoulders spanned the breadth of the booth and his head stuck out the top. Awkwardly, the god shut the curtain.

“WHAT!? WHAT IS THIS?!” Zues turned around furiously tearing the booth curtains apart.

“What is the problem Your Godliness? I am here to serve.”
“I AM A GOD!” Shouted the now red and fuming behemoth.

“Of course you are, Your Godliness! What can I help with?”

“HERE!” He said shouting, “Right here,” And he shoved his ballot receipt under my nose. It read

—XXX— FUTON
—— AIRMATRESS
—— WATERBED

“Why your Godliness, everythin seems to be…”

“I ONLY GET OnE VoTE?! I’m a GOD! There can be no way my votes are EQUAL with your MORTAL votes.” He spat the word mortal indignantly from his lips, “Your pole is flawed, and I will not cast my vote here!”
-----------------------------> Gotta go to bed, will finish this later :wink:

6

Not sure how to vote on this one as I still have a traditional mattress set.
Up side to trad is comfort, but only if top-of-line- downside is great cost.
Waterbed- upside: cost per unit of comfort- downside, potential for disastrous failure/water damage/structural collapse- banned in many apt buildings. You can sneak it in but if there’s a failure, you’ll get sued for the damage.
Air mattress: Upside: Light weight and comfort. Downside: Prob will need to keep after filling it/topping it up.
Has anyone tried the sleep number bed? Hotels are now advertizing that they have them.

7

Kenko™ Dream Light Pad

Gives an ordinary bed Kenko Dream technology.

The Kenko Dream Sleep System is the most revolutionary idea in sleep technology. With the Kenko Dream Light Pad, you can add this technology to your mattress - for a state-of-the-art sleep environment. The Kenko Dream Light Pad is so supremely comfortable that you can use it instead of a mattress. Or place it on any ordinary mattress for extra luxury. The Kenko Dream Light Pad offers the same features that are normally found only in high-end mattresses or sleep systems that cost much more. Nikken Magnetic Technology, Nikken Rubberthane Technology and viscoelastic “memory foam” offer unsurpassed relaxation. The Nikken Kenko Dream Light Pad includes all of these innovations, for quality sleep.(#1145)
http://www.nikken.com/index.cfm?fuse=prod1&prod_id=1145

I have been using one of these for about 9 years now. It is as hard as a rock (almost) and the pillow that is made form the same material contains magnets, and ceramic tile to pull heat away from the head.

8

I am starting to enjoy some quality nights of sleep after buying a memory foam bed about 3 weeks ago. This bed is really great if you share a bed with someone. My wife can turn and twist, get on or off the bed and I don’t feel anything. :slight_smile:
However, it’s also a source of great frustration for me. One of my “Mac Daddy” moves for getting some action when I go to bed after my wife, is to disturb the bed untill she wakes up and then say " oh you are still up sweetee" in my romantic voice. But with this new bed I practically have to yank the pillow out from under her so she can know I am comming to bed.
So my vote is for the waterbed (max disturbance).

9

What the

Not having slept on a waterbed. I can’t sleep on that.

Being a mates place I was offered both the futon, airmatress I decided on the floor (the blonde help decide it) but had a great night. Certainly better then the guys who took the futon and airmatress.

10

I didn’t see “Blonde” in the voting window for sleeping choices. If it was there, the votes would be different!

11

“Zues, your Godliness, but surely I cannot rescind your vote! You have cast it, and I cannot strike it from the records.”

“Well,” He began in a rage, “WELL it matters NOt to me. Your poll is but a trifle mortal… mortal… PIFFIALITY!! I need not bother myself with it’s importance!” At Zues’s improvisation Igor let out a sharp snicker.

“Shut up you dunce!” I hissed and booted his cage. Zues’s face turned from an angry pink, to a seething crimson at Igor’s remarks.

“My lord…” I began in one last attempt.

“IT’S YOUR GODLINESS!” Zues thundered and with another forceful clap the gods were no more.

“YOU STUPID LITTLE!!!” I spun to stomp Igor’s cage into oblivion, only to find it empty.

“Sir…” began a quiet voice.

“WHAT!!!” I screamed uncontrollably. I turned to see a little old lady. She grasped a voting receipt.

“That’s no way to talk to your elders!” She squeeked at me. Ignoring her, I began to search for Igor. White hot pain exploded in the side of my head, and a creeping blackness overcame me.

The old lady tucked her brick-filled bag under her arm and walked calmly out of the voting hall while I marinated in a pool of drool.

The End

For now.

Coming up next week! Which salad will reign supreme?! Potent Potato? Classic Lettuce? Sassy Seaweed? Or will it be Maniacle Macaroni?!

12

Palmtag! You need to get more sleep!

13

Definetely got to go with the Futon, I love just molding myself into the futon and just laying there, soooooo comfy :cool: