Some wierd issues lately…this weekend was wierd and stresses over a complicated situation as to how I’m feeling towards a girl has me worried about myself…wieeeerrrdddd
11/9/2004
Hmm…5 lbs lighter and training weights are higher, was noticable with increased vert and eccentric speed during the dip. As well feel much lighter on my feet when running and a much longer stride length with lower GCT. I like whats going on. Cycles will last two weeks, so I do not plateu, as it will occur more quickly as I spend a lot of time doing limit/power work. All this with no rest lately and emotional distress.
11/11/2004
No workout, just speaking, I figured keeping a journal of what’s on my mind, since normally I write down everything except that, would maybe help. Football is finally over, what a relief, now I can finally lean up and get to working out for real. A special visit might occur when I have the house to myself, I really hope it does, itd be soooo great, plus motivation to lean up:). The whole thing with the girl is starting to make sense to me, although confusion is still in here. Got report cards, did OK, my mom wanted to meet with the teachers though, got in trouble because I had been getting away with telling my mom I had been doing my homework(which I havent done one piece of), and they told her that I would have an A for every class if I did homework, instead I have B’s and B+'s. Growing my hair out, I think I really like it. Hmmm skipped school today, it was a half day so I didn’t feel like going. Oh man speaking of skipping, I am not on any attendance rosters, why I dont know but it is awesome. I was going to skip with this absolutely gorgeous girl I have been trying to hang out with alone since freshman year. She was like Ian lets go to my house, fuck school. But the deuche juice of a substitute wouldnt let me leave, that is until 5 min after her. She found a different way home, needless to say I expressed some anger to him, ass jockey. Lots of pressure here with college, trying to not let it bother me. Got an iPod mini today, it’s awesome. And again reallllllyyyy hope she can come visit me, it would make my fucking year…
Hmmm in trying to deal with emotional stress lately have been very into music and expressive writing. I like this song, see if any of you know it…
Click your heels and feel you come for me
Carefree she’s got something big to tell me
At the ocean talk back at the ocean
Thre’s no simple way to let you know
Funny how she always cried out daddy
I got a big surprise
She said I’m in trouble now and it cannot wait
She’s ten days late
And boy your life got complicated
Well I can’t wait to see this through
She’s ten days late
Ten days late
Low ride bicycles go cruising by
I laugh I don’t even know why
Talk back at the ocean
Consequence and ozone catch a glow
Oh no baby oh no no more
Give me a minute now to figure out my state
Oh I know she’s ten days late
And I don’t know where to take it
But it’s still great knowing you
She’s ten days late
Ten days late
Time has come for you to choose
Baby daddies keep your boo
Many blessings come to you
Baby daddy keep your boo
Baby daddy keep your boo
Baby daddy keep your boo
Your eyes look to me for what to do
I can’t lie I don’t know
At the ocean talk back at the ocean
No one’s laughing now what do I say
I walk away oh no don’t go
At the ocean talk back at the ocean
Give me a minute now to figure out my state
She’s ten days late
And I’m never going to fade it
I guess I’ll always be knowing you
Ten days late
Knowing you
You know I know that! now go tap that ass! (with a wrapper, unless you want to hear “I’m Late” you’venever been that afraid in your life, trust me.)
Haha youll be seeing plenty of third eye blind on here, haha good advice…if I was gonna have a kid I’d freak, ahhh what would my mother say!!!
11/13/04
Day went OK. Really really tired because I stayed up until about 12, and then couldn’t sleep til one, but for good reason. Hmm had my good classes today, so it was a good day. AP Gov is soooo long though, I kept sleeping. Hmm got a test back in that class, got a 85%, not to bad, I could do better if I study, but I guess I don’t really care about it. Hmm my new schedule blows, got all my classes switched around. Had a tasty and filling lunch today though, got a teacher to go get me food. Our game got rained out, fuck why wont this just end!!! Well thats about it, and the song for today is(bet no one can get this one)…
Our relationship, Nature is abusive
I awake, Projections of perfection
A ghost here, How to get through it
Late night conversation, We’re fading
Like a constellation, With the sunrise
Awkwardness, It haunts me
Can’t realize how this can be
Seperation from desire, Can’t overcome
Fuelling the fire, Burning like the sun
Knocking at the door
The noise brings sleepless nights
Scars from the nightmare fights
Should I let her in
Awkwardness, It haunts me
Can’t realize how this can be
Seperation from desire, Can’t overcome
Fuelling the fire, Burning like the sun
Fears of dissapointment inside of me
Is she true, Could our story end happily
I know that, I can’t get over this
Like the sun rising in the sky
It’s not over, I want to get out
Don’t care what I miss
United, You bring a state of bliss
Throw away what was before
You make the past not matter anymore
Awkwardness, It haunts me
Can’t realize how this can be
Seperation from desire, Can’t overcome
Fuelling the fire, Burning like the sun
11/14/2004
Season’s over, had a tackle last night against a very large full back who almost broke my back haha. I shed two blockers and was standing straight up when he smacked into, I was completely numb because of the temperature and was thinking just dont get trucked, and sent him backwards. Very large fellow, he brings a load(6’2" 240). Well plan to get hard to work on Monday, have to get a head start for next year. Well since my training contains less variable I have determined training cycles will have to be shorter than normal to prevent plateuing. I am going to use 2 week load, 1 week unload approach for this, and switch up moves for each strength quality being trained. As well will be trying to raise relative body strength via single leg squats and gymnastics moves. I do not want to do much sprinting, besides hills, until I get leaner and stronger compared to my bodyweight, I think this will solve aches and pains associated with sprints. Sessions will go like this.
Day 1 and 5
- Rest and Relaxation drills(sprints would include reactivity, but this would be RFI exercises)
- Reactive(upper and lower body plyometrics)
- Limit strength(deadlift variations, or box squats)
- Magnitude(essentialy power clean variations)
- Limit strength upper(weighted pull/chin and bench press)
Days 2 and 4
- Tempo/Jump Rope to get/keep lean(push ups between sets)
Day 3
- Rest and Relaxation drills(sprints would include reactivity, but this would be RFI exercises)
- Strength endurance upper and lower(gymnastics moves I think fit here, and things like running A’s)
Unloading will be switching to less intense exercises where this is applicable(ie a snatch grip deadlift off of a platform is a lot lower load then a regular or trap bar deadlift, box jumps are much less intense than depth jumps, etc…). As for sprinting I am still unsure how to regulate it, I think a slight lowering in volume(not reps/sets, but total distace/distance of sprints) via more sets/reps and shorter sprints would be the way to go with this? Mmmm things are good with the girl, still a bit odd, but what the hell. And now for todays song…
I close my eyes and I see a freak, I think it’s me and I’m afraid to speak
I keep on going from week to weakness way out in a line.
I dream of lives we could have had before, but the heat is broke down open doorways.
Friends of yours will tell me more what happens in your mind
Can we try and take the high road though we don’t know where it ends
I want to be your Crystal Baller
I want to show you how it ends
Macrame queens in the afternoon and I’m in tune or did I speak too soon
Punch drunk on somebody’s joke, what happened to the time
A footnote in your dance of days, In my mind that record still plays
Still wonder what the fuck it says, and hoping there is time
Can we try and take the high road though we don’t know where it ends
I want to be your Crystal Baller
I can show you how it ends
Can we talk about tomorrow and the promise that it brings
I want to be your Crystal Baller, I want to show everything
I wonder what the whole things for, I wonder what the whole things for
In the moment you were screaming at me I would have been somebody else
And the patrons of the pub keep singing
Macrame queens in the afternoon and I’m in tune or did I speak too soon
Punch drunk on somebody’s joke what happened to the time
I dream of lives we could have had before where the heat is broke down open doorways
Like waiting for a trick to score, It seems that way some times
I wonder where were all going, I’m homesick for your primal knowing
I wonder why the wind keeps blowing you through my mind
Try and take the high road remember we were friends
I want to be your Crystal Baller
I want to be your diamond ring
The one I never gave you and the promise that it brings
Let me be your Crystal Baller
I will show you everything.
I’ll be your Crystal Baller
11/15/2004
Leg hurts, nooo leg work, did a bunch of ham curls to hypertrophy them.
Bench press-3x1@275
DB Bench-1x10@60 1x8@60
Machine Rows-1x6 full stack
Pull Ups-3x5
External Rotations-1x10@20
Rear Delts-1x10@10
Tricep Pressdowns-1x10@75
Wanted to do this
- RFI Jumps of some sort
- Bench-3x1
- DB Bench-2-3x6-8
- Plyo(between bench and DB bench sets, potentiates CNS and helps to develop RFD and reactivity)-3x4
- Deadlift-3x1
- DB Rows(done between deadlift sets)-2-3x6-8
- Pull Up-3x1
- Hamstrings-2-3x6-8
Good amount of work to improve speed and strength without killing myself or eating up a shitload of time.
All in all a nice workout, got to go in there hit it hard, then leave. Hmmm song for today? Good day as well, except I made my friend/teacher reaaallllyyy mad cuz i threw a paper ball at her. The girl is going well…last night was funny she was in a realllllyyy bad mood and I was just kidding and she almost freaked at me haha I covered my ass with a Im just kidding, I luh ya buddy.
Your out of sight, But always on my mind
Our love invisible, But look inside
Its all you’ll find, No surprises here
I see you in front of me, You just appear
We can’t feel eachother, And I start to fear
I must be sleeping, We’re together while I’m dreaming
Thoughts of you are a cover, Warmth that makes me steaming
Feeling like its cold, I start to quiver
Oh no its snowing, the Absence of you makes me shiver
Thoughts of you are bittersweet
This isn’t wrong, The temptation is complete
Know whats on my mind, See you looking at me
No need to speak, What you want I can see
My skin is tingling, Our bodies friction
You gentle touch, The source of my addiction
I must be sleeping, We’re together while I’m dreaming
Thoughts of you are a cover, Warmth that makes me steaming
Feeling like its cold, I start to quiver
Oh no its snowing, the Absence of you makes me shiver
I think Im going into this too deeply, I am reallly down because I havnt talked to her today, and she has a real busy life, I understand, I grateful for what I get, but I don’t know, maybe I just have to “wean” myself off of her…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH why… 
11/16/2004
Man I am out of shape…did some GPP stuff today.
Jump Rope-5x3min round, depletion push ups after each round, then rest 1 min
Nice workout, got my blood going. Stayed up real late last night, couldn’t sleep. But whatever I feel fine so I guess its ok, I love her so much 
…Unbelievable rage today, some smurf was talking shit to me, calling me a little bitch, I laughed at him and that got him going, but man if he keeps up with the verbal harassment, I dont care if he is an elf…
Could you believe it
Those sapphire eyes
The brilliant girl with the famous thighs
Then the cameras click then we are stars
Laughing in the back of chauffeured cars
Phone call rings and your voice is desire
Then winter moves into summer fires
I promised you what’s ours is ours
Somewhere backstage with Sean and Lars
I go crazy when you walk in the room
I laugh at myself with the girl in bloom
The taste of sex couldn’t be too soon
All afternoon then
LA parties in the phony lands
Phony grabs with the manicured hands
I always thought you were pretty like a whip
Should have watched my step
Cause I keep on forgetting myself
And I keep on forgetting myself
Who am I we both don’t know
Time ticks by, where did you go
You always knew
Where you were going to
So sweetly you said
Please come with you
The biggest fear running thru my head
You said you loved you meant what you said
I was floating, did it go to my head
We always sleep with the dogs in the bed
LA parties and the vodka fizz
This is not my life or maybe it is
I keep on forgetting myself
And I keep on forgetting myself
Who am I we both don’t know
Time ticks by, where did you go
Oh, I made you doubt me
Oh, you’re better off without me
Think I am looking over your shoulder
Cause there’s someone younger and you’re feeling older
You’re crazy and you never faded
I don’t want to be so complicated
See my life come undone
Watch it go and let the damage run
I’d change the song now if I could
In the slickness of your blood
I keep on forgetting myself
And I keep on forgetting myself
Whose that guy, I don’t know
Where did you go
11/17/2004
GPP again, wasnt bad. Good day as well. Again up kind of late, went to bed earlier than usual, she made me :mad: , but its all good Ahh and if I get hired at best buy it will be great, plus I am switching into Co-Op, so I will have a free period on Orange days(days like today). I’ll use it to lift or do hw or whatever. Anyways this workout was easy ,but got me sweating and my heart rate up.
4x5(1 rep= 30 sec on, 30 sec on) of jump roping, 2 min between sets in which I did isometric ab exercises. Good workout all in all.
Just an old friend coming over now to visit you and
That’s what I’ve become
I let myself in though I know I’m not supposed to but
I never know when I’m done
And I see you fogging up the mirror
Vapor round your body glistens in the shower
And I want to stay right here and go down on you for an hour
Or stay, and let the day just fade away
In wild dedication, take the moment of hope
And let it run, and never look back at all the damage we have done now
To each other
Cause when I see you, it’s like I’m starring down the sun
And I’m blinded
There’s nothing left to do
Still I see you
I never believed that things they happen for a reason and
They never go as planned
I wanted to thank you for a vision that was lost that you returned but
You’re passed do you understand
Now her appetite is blown, little else is known
Except she a little angry, grabs a towel and looks away
And heat fades with the day
And I fall down on what to say,
Oh something clean let me be clever
Hey oh well whatever
But that’s not what I mean
When where we’ve been has left us burned
Still I won’t turn now from a fight you know I’ll never win
So when I see you, you know all the things I’ve done
Well I’m blinded
Like I’m staring down the sun
When I see you
It’s like I’m staring down the sun
Time passes and it tells us what we’re left with
We become the things we do
Me I’m a fool, spent from defiance, yeah you got me but
I didn’t give up on you
Icarus is not a tee shirt or a swan song, no
He is born again and it’s not easy being me
But I can’t promise I will mend or bend
When you believe that we are fixed now from our birth
And I’ve just fallen back to earth
Still you know I’ll try again
Cause I believe that we are lucky
We are golden we’re stolen manners
In the days when we were one
[Chorus]
So when I see you, despite all that we’ve become
I’m still blinded
But I’m still staring down the sun
When I see you
I’m blinded
11/18/2004
School is going good, but it doesnt look like this whole job thing is going to workout. They are not flexible on hours at all and I need that. I like programming, and am very good at it, I’ll see if I can get something(maybe an intern thing?) from my teacher. Oh and before any of you call me a nerd, remember I’m a big strong dude, not my fault I do well in that stuff haha. Havent seen the elf the last couple days, honestly I have been trying to avoid him, not because I am afraid, but if I get in a fight and suspended over some stupid shit…well my parents arent very receptive to that sore of thing, I would have to move out. Went to sleep reaallllllyyyy early last night, got around 9 hours, felt good, but still fatigued because of low sleep nights. Still not a bad weightroom day. I would call it bittersweet though, while I lifted some decent weights and am leaning up, I know I had waaaaayyy more in me. Decided to do my barbell stuff real heavy on the first day and lighter assistance type work to allow for better recovery. Didn’t get to talk to her last night though because she had a lot of work and I was just passing out. Hopefully I will get to speak to her today :eek:
Weight Room-Did this circuit style
- SLDL’s-3x6@335(easy, but grip was slipping horribly, never had that happen before…)
- DB Flat Bench-1x6@75, 2x6@85(This is as high as the DB’s go, 100’s are being delivered however)
- DB Rows-2x6@95, 1x3@90(big fatigue here from grip)
Just give me a call when you feel better
but you never do and I’m just another debtor to some palm reader
whose got her hands mixed up
Palm readers breath smells of brandy and cigarettes
As she sells me and sweet forgets, she needs something to get her through, she runs a scam like me and you yeah me and you
Freud said that love was a good psychosis, but I don’t know I’ve had too many doses
He’s a creep and we all know that he probably made it up
Believe in me and this lie
Tell me everything will be all right
Cause it’s so good to believe
But don’t turn my hope into a weapon
I kept your sweater till the scent was gone wrapped up in my hands when the days where long but I’m still sniffing I walk alone in the concrete with the living
Where pigeons fly till they gather round the fallen ones,
they don’t know why neither do I:
[Chorus]
There’s no one to trust except maybe the two of us
But that’s in the past the place where I’m living is haunting broken dreams
I read horoscopes in magazines especially yours in the sign of the Leo, the regal one but man you let your claws show oh it’s so slow, when will they let me go
[Chorus]
11/19/2004
Really tired and unmotivated to train, but was sore so I did. Hmm trying to get this girl to go out with me tonight, I’ll have to see how that goes. Too tired to post a song, but I do luh muh sexy womaaannnn.
Recovery-Got a sweat going
2x5(30 on, 30 off), 2 min between sets(burnout push ups between sets and 1 min plank between sets)
Wicked is my new favorite word haha
11/20/2004
Ok figured out I will do muscular endurance things on between days, because I have been doing that and it doesnt effect my strength or speed. So today was a trial day, I liked it, I feel like I did a sprinting workout, although I didn’t wierd huh? I didnt get a lot of sleep(8hrs) so I think I can expect much better when I am fully rested(9-10 hours). Had some “plans” last night, but they didnt work out…girls are bitches sometimes…
Warm up
-
4x10 RFI stair jumps(10 touches in 6 sec…damn I’m fast, thats over 30 in 20 sec the first time I ever did these…form got sloppy on 4th set, so stopped)
-
Low Depth Jumps-3x4 off 12 in, focused on low contact time and triple extension
I think I want to do something like this before every workout, I feel like it gets my nervous system on a high and I am just primed. Week will now look like this.
Day 1 and 4
RFI exercise-Until sloppy form(1.5 min rest)
Plyometric-3x4(1.5 min rest)
Limit Upper(Pull Up and Bench)-3x1(1.5 min rest then do limit for other)
Limit Lower(Deadlift Variation)-3x1(3 min rest)
Day 2-GPP/Recovery
Jump Rope w/ Push Ups/Abs between sets
Day 3-Recovery
Much like Day 2, lighter though, again abs and push ups between
Day 5-Either Day 2 or 3 depending on how I am feeling
Day 6
RFI
Plyo
Day 7-Off
I think this will cover everything, rest/relaxtion, reactivity, muscle elasticity, limit strength, work capacity, strength endurance, etc…
I guess I’ll keep posting my workouts here, talking with my lover makes me feel better
You’re a fuck up b/c you’re not following exactly what’s expected of you? Fuck that. People are happy or miserable everywhere, money and college doesn’t really have shit to do with it. You’re a smart kid with a ton of athletic potential and what sounds like a supportive family, no matter what happens how could the opportunities stop? You’ll always have a lot of options.
11/21/2004
Had a lot of energy today, so I did a little workout to hopefully loose some bodyfat.
Jump Rope-1x10(30 on 30 off) rest 2 min, 2x5(30 on 30 off, 2 min between)
11/22/2004
Went to the weightroom, was dead, I am trying to work on the diet thing…I felt great in the morning but as the day wore on I felt more and more lathargic, I guess low blood sugar. Anyways not too bad I guess…And I am going to write what I eat also…
Deadlift-3x1@405
Bench-3x1@275
Pull Ups-3x5
Took 30 min, I needed a long recovery time today :mad:
Bagel with Creamcheese
Milk
Small Bowl of Cereal
Two Packets of Instant Oatmeal
Turkey with cheese and tomato on french bread
Rice Krispy Treat
Apple
I know this looks low, but I didnt do any jump rope today, so tommorrow I will eat more…