So I just finished the BCHS Provincials today (equivalent to State finals in US). A few thoughts:
I qualified into 110MH with a time 15.21 - the fastest seed time. The second fastest was 15.7 I believe. I gained a lot of hubris because this margin is wide and I believed it was not my limit, since I ran it on a slow track, with essentially no competition. But throughout the week I’ve been getting nervous so I was afraid the race might go as planned. At the start today, when I was doing my warm-up, gave myself plenty of time, I saw other people, doing drills that I couldn’t do. I shouldn’t have felt this way, but I got afraid that these people will beat me. I was in heat 1, lane 4, the last lane. I just sat there and slowly got into my zone. I knew all the training was done and I just had to execute. When the starter called start, one person went off beside me. And I was really glad it wasn’t me who had false-started. Afterwards, the starter said that none of the sprinters were in “position”, so the guy was not handed the deadening red card. We were called back into position and I just focused again. I knew I had to push fast and good; I was thinking these guys are going to eat me up if I don’t! As soon as I heard the gun I was out. The guy beside me had a phenomenal start, but I didn’t focus on him. After the first hurdle, he disappeared from my sight. And I was really glad at this time, since that means the race was against the clock - no more pressure. I just executed and all I could think about was my lead arm. “Don’t bring it too far back” “Stop it at the knee!” After I got off the last hurdle, I glanced at the clock. It was a 14. I was very glad, I knew that 15.21 wasn’t my limit. And now all my pressure has been thwarted. I qualified for the finals and I was gonna show them a even better time.
After the 100m heat I got on the track - there was approximately 30 minutes left until my finals. The heats took a long time, they were 20 minutes behind schedule. But I knew a full warm up wasn’t needed. They called our finals pretty soon. We got on the line and someone false started again. I was kind of nervous at the start, I didn’t want to push it too fast out - seeing how many false starts there were at the meet, I didn’t want to take the chance. We got back on our line and waited for the set. I held my breath. And as soon as I heard the gun, the two next fastest guys popped out already. I knew I had a bad start. I went over the first hurdle, I knew I had to catch them. I went over around 5 hurdles and I was in front of them! I knew if I wanted to secure the win, I needed to push it faster. And then the worst thing a hurdler could do happened - I smashed the hurdle hard on hurdle 7/8. I slowed down so much, and the two guys went past me again. I got back on my feet and started sprinting, I felt like I could catch them. The winner ran 14.96 - a time I ran in the heats, 2nd was 15.19 - a time I could easily have beat. And I, the favourite - ran a glacial pace of 15.38. Immediately after my race, I wondered how it would feel if I could relive that race again. A feeling of sorrow that is congruent to someone close to you who just passed away. What if…
My breath was quickening. And one of our sister’s school coaches comes chat with me, giving me many, many encouraging words. I talked with a graduated alumni about the race - mainly about how aggressive, and focused I was, and especially about the disdain created by that 3rd last hurdle. I analyzed my race with him. He told me I had a bad start but I caught them. And I was thinking deep down - how said it really is seeing the winner running a time that you were completely, perfectly, capable of running.
After the race, when I was heading to the award ceremony, I heard a conversation about a hurdles race (this was approximately 20 minutes after the finals). He was saying how a guy who was leading and these two guys sandwiching him beat him off at the end. The leading guy caught a hurdle - a genuine representation of the worst and quickest way a medalist can head off into the bottom of the results. And that guy they were talking about, after many minutes of the race - was me. It felt really cool, having people analyze your race. I guess it was a good day