Fair enough, Rich.
Sorry if I was not tactful enough in my comments. I do really think the coach you interacted with is an idiot, with his cryptic claims to exploit “weakness”. That is exactly the kind of stuff I hate about developmental coaches. They start taking themselves too seriously, and then it just turns into a big mess.
I am genuinely hopeful that you both continue to enjoy track. It’s good that she ran for fun this summer, no question. The fact that you base family vacations around it is cool, but I think it bears mentioning that there will exist some implied pressure to continue this tradition into the future.
I would stand by stating that it doesn’t matter where she places in races. This kind of over-focus on results that classically appears in youth sports can easily blind a parent and youth athlete, and I’m not trying to be a jerk by bringing this up, it’s a real concern. You’re a good guy, and your daughter is a fine racer, but it’s easy to get caught up in the winning, losing, and rivalries in youth athletics (as the moron coach you encountered so brilliantly showed) and lose sight of the bigger picture.
Here’s my example. When I was growing up, I played ice hockey, while my friends in the neighborhood didn’t have this opportunity. Despite this fact, I was consistently one of the worst street hockey players in my neighborhood. Instead of playing creatively and with “joy”, I would have to revert to a very boring, defensive style of play to be able to hang with my friends on the street, which is of course the style I learned playing organized hockey. Thinking back, what they were teaching me in organized hockey was how to “win”, but there was little focus on the base athleticism that would allow me to turn first into a good overall athlete (adding speed, strength, power) which would then allow to better use the sport-specific technical skills I was being taught.
I never went anywhere in hockey- it actually ended up turning me off what is a really beautiful game. I’ve seen this happen to literally thousands of kids in my job as an elementary Phys Ed teacher, and it’s very frustrating to watch. It’s easy for parents to get caught up in the competitiveness of youth tournaments, playoffs, etc. that matter very little in the grand scheme of things. Last year, I even witnessed a 10 year old’s family move clear across the city leaving behind friends and family so that their daughter who is a provincially ranked 10 year old tennis player could focus on intense training. This particular child is among the five worst athletes in her grade- very little speed, and poor gross motor movement co-ordination. How is she going to fare once the better athletes catch up to her skill with the racquet? I don’t think very well.
Now you said yourself that the reason she decided to longer races was that she typically does better in them. It’s this focus on comparing yourself against peers as a very young athlete that is the reason I bring this up. She is a great racer- but being the best tactician and most fearless kicker will not be enough in a couple of years if the athletic base isn’t adequately developed. I question the appropriateness of focusing on how you rank against others performances at this stage. I am suggesting that focusing on personal development is more important, as everyone develops at different rates as an early teen of course, thus making meaningful comparisons at a single point in time very difficult.
Hey, maybe I’m overreacting- you of course are the ultimate judge because you are the coach and mentor, but I did put thought into these comments and even if you totally disagree, I hope you realize that I take you seriously. I just wanted to address what are seen by many as important topics. I wish you only good luck!
PS If you ever get a chance to check out Greg Hamilton’s film “Mystic Ball”, i think it does a great job of questioning sport and the nature of competitiveness.