Juggler's Training Journal

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324

The “on hands and knees” idea does not work.
Thursday night’s bend was kind of a bust in that yes I worked hard and got past 90 but not much past. I haven’t gotten the block. I’m unsure whether to bend tonight or not. I think not since I may get the block tomorrow and I’m always cooked the next day which could cause more drama w/ the family unit. But I do need to get after it and every day I waste is a day wasted. One thing that helped me get to 90 is having a clear measurement and a clear goal. It helped a lot to have a measuring stick on the floor to see exactly where I am and where the target is.

I also need to have a good method on inducing bend. Pulling on it sucks in several ways. The chair method rocks but the stool I’m resting my foot on doesn’t quite get me there. I’ve been effing around with this for a damn month now with almost no progress :mad: I haven’t found a way that works towards 130 degrees. I am getting to 90 faster, with less pain and can hold it longer but I need full ROM!

I did do a bunch on extensions w/ EMS. The unit seems to do the job. I’ll post a review when I have more time with it but for $70 USD plus shipping it seems decent. I am able to almost straighten the leg so that’s good. I haven’t worked on other strengthening as much as I really need to in the past week. However I have been getting around the house without the walker for the past 2 days.

I think I’ll bend hard tonight after EMS extensions. Goal is to sit in the chair w/ my foot firmly planted on the top of the stool. If that doesn’t work for equipment reasons I’ll use the lower step.

I think this saga could possibly be of use if anyone else is dumb enough to tear off their patella tendon. If any of the people reading this have any suggestions on what I could include in the way of helpful info I’ll consider it. Right now it’s for me to keep track of my progress and maybe someone can get some use out of it someday.

325

The reason I haven’t gotten the block is that my sister, whose place I’m staying at during the rehab process, doesn’t want it here. I will bring one up from the yard --meaning have a friend do it as I can’t carry something like that up stairs yet --when I get home.

The sister also got into me for not working hard enough. Couldn’t 'splain to her that I have to take it easy on speed on rehab, meaning how hard/fast I push it, becasue of risk of injury. I mean I did say that but (insert family drama here). I’m actually looking forward to be able to push it harder without the problems of nerves and poor quality sleep. I am super grateful for her help but god damn am I sick of being yelled at :mad:

Took a longer walk than usual today, in fact it was the longest since, and threw in some grass walking as well. I will be able to walk by the time I get back, in fact I may not need the cane which was my plan to have just in case.

I was already using the walker just sporadically but the last 3 days I haven’t used it at all. Today I went out without it or crutches :eek: I really should have taken a crutch but I was so pissed at my sister that I forgot :frowning: I did though find a better place for walking, at least it was tonight in that it was deserted. I like that. My need for woodsy solitude is what led to walking in the woods in the first place.

Also found out the my friend who I’d been hiking and doing other stuff with is moving to Boston :frowning: :frowning: :frowning: I mean maybe I can couch surf and get to Boston but damn, I was really wanting to spend more time with him before he left. Now I go home to be much more alone than when I left.

I didn’t mention that the EMS helped me a lot w/ quad strengthening. I bought extra pads since the 1.75 inch round ones that came with it were OK but I had to fiddle with placement a lot. Now I can just get close with the 2x4s and I can blast it as hard as I want.

The creatine seems to help, as does the whey. Advil is the bomb at easing the swelling. I ice too of course.

I would have bent tonight but due to the blowup I’ll lay low tonight and hit it tomorrow. If she gets up and sees the TV on at 2am she’ll flip and I need to postpone the next meltdown for as long as I can.

None of this pertains to rehab, except that it does really. The total picture counts. I really related to CF’s statement that everything you experience (not just training itself) is part of the stress. That is one reason why I can’t go whole hog – my sleep, food, and general stress level don’t allow for maximum recovery. I mean yes I could work harder but could I recover from it?

That said I have been adding to my workload, but what my sister doesn’t realize is that as I begin to get around better, I move more and thus am working more whether it looks like exercise or not.

326

Just got done bending. Got to ~100 degrees. Figured out a refinement to the chair method I should have thought of much much sooner which will let me get to ~110 degrees. I am getting to 90 faster and easier each time.

Also did 1/2 hour of EMS leg extensions. Decent quality reps.

Wiped. Details tomorrow if there is something important.

327

Bending last night went well. I got to ~110 degrees which is as far as I’m going to get with the current setup. I see the doctor Tuesday so I will have a list of questions since I’m going home next weekend.

EMS extensions continue to improve slowly. Walking improvement seems to have slowed. Not sure what’s going on w/ that. My footwork however is steadily improving, as is standing stamina. Sitting stamina too actually – at first it wiped me out to sit for long but it’s fine now.

328

Got a cane today which helps both for safety and for stabilizing a bit while walking. I’m sure people would say it’s a placebo effect that I walk better with it but so what if it is, I walk better so :slight_smile: I’ll only need it for a few weeks but it will make a difference during that time.

Also drove a car for the fisrt time in 4 months and didn’t have trouble with timing, coordination, etc. so that’s good. Also went to the barber for the first time in 15 years ans was reminded why I do it myself. I’m grayer than ever so I look even worse than before I got messed up.

I haven’t juggled since I fell and possibly won’t again so who knows how that is. Not that I care at this point. I have actually been getting after The Man on his juggling, trying to get him to set some more WRs but we’ll see :rolleyes: He’s a much much higher functioning version of me in some ways, always getting in the way of his own success.

I originally thought about making a new journal for rehab, partly to designate this as a project unto itself and partly due to shame over my pathetic training thus far :frowning: But I didn’t since the rehab doesn’t end really – it will be a process of getting closer to correct functioning which is what training really is about anyway at this level :o

I am of course massively discouraged which is recurring. As I get better physically yes of course I feel better but also worse, because I have to deal with bigger stuff.This will no doubt continue. I’m bummed though since the friend I spent the most time with and had the best time with by far is moving to Boston before I get back. We had just opened up new areas of experience, finding new stuff to do together (like hiking trails :rolleyes: :frowning: ) and I fucked it all up by getting hurt. I missed out on what would have been our best time together to go though months of misery, isolation, pain, disabilty and my sister ripping into me :frowning: :mad:
Now I go home to nothing. They say when one door closes another opens but damn I’m not seeing any open doors, especially at 41 :frowning:

329

Saw the doctor yesterday in what was probably my last followup visit with him, although I will see the doc in NC when I go home. Not regularly as I don’t think it’s needed at this point but I’ll get an assessment in 2 months or so.

The doc is pleased with my progress since last visit and doesn’t think surgery will be needed as long as I continue to make progress :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: He measured me at 100 degrees which isn’t my max but my “short warmup max”. He said both my extension and flexion have improved so much that he thinks I will be okay as long as I keep at it. He commended my hard work which it helps to have someone notice.

I am walking better today, possibly due to his reassurance that the leg is improving. He is OK with the use of the cane, encouraging in fact, once I showed him that it is just for safety and (sometimes) support. I walk better with it, partly since I feel safer. It’s just for a few weeks of course but will help a lot during that time.

330

Took my hardest walk yet yesterday, going up some grass hills and down the hill on paved road. My footwork continues to improve.

It sucks to have to watch every step so carefully in such a scenic area. That is just the way it is from now on though.

I may be able to do a little pool work in the next week before I go home. I will of course do daily swimming once I get back to build up muscle, strength and cardio, all of which I have lost all of, and lose this damn fat which was a major factor in me hurting myself in the first place. They say accidents happen but everyone I know of who has fucked themselves up doing something so easy has been a fat blob, myself included. There was no excuse for letting myself get that way and I’ve paid a very high price for it: 3 months of misery the first month of which was by far the worst I’ve ever felt, the end of several relationships, the loss of what could have been a great time with my friend who’s now in Boston, and oh yeah, $10,000. I could say it was just a moment of stupidity but if I were 30 lbs. lighter the injury probably wouldn’t have happened when I fell. I know no one here will ever let themselves get fat so it’s irrelevant to anyone reading this but I set it down as a reminder to myself. Oh yeah, I also missed out on the biggest Contact Improv event ever, with a training intensive that would have greatly accelerated my progress, so now I will continue to suck real bad at CI which was one of the few bright spots in life. Which I’ll never be able to do fully again – I’m stuck to the handicapped version which means I probably can’t find partners at all. All because I was too god damn lazy to exercise it off. :mad:

So I will find a place where I can swim daily. Ironically the place I fell was where I planned to do a lot of walking which worked well for fat loss in the past but I hate doing it in the neighborhood since I keep getting hassled by cops while walking since they’re too lazy to deal with the Group W shitheads who hang out literally around the corner :mad:

I don’t know if I can walk there again. Certainly not anytime soon, but maybe during the day only. Damn. I really liked walking in the woods at night but now that’s gone too.

331

Walked about a mile yesterday. I am slow as hell so that will have to be accounted for when crossing streets and such. It was all downhill which is way harder than going uphill. I felt the tendon telling me to slow down so I did. It wasn’t nearly as much of a pulling sensation as a few weeks ago. It was overall a big effort but doable.

332

Walked about 2 miles yesterday – down the hill, around for a bit and back up. I ran slam out of steam on the way back but made it.

I’m not stiff or sore today :slight_smile:

I go home next Sunday so I can get back into aggressively bending then. I will do one or two easy ones here then push it harder at home.

I will of course push my workouts once home as well.

333

I am really wiped from yesterday. I felt OK at first but fizzled as the day went on. I’ll have to watch this as my mobility improves – can’t be going around too tired as it’s a major risk.

My overall energy is picking up as I am getting around more though.

334

I had thought that I would never juggle again. Yesterday I picked up 3 balls for the first time in 5 months. It occurred to me that with all I’ve lost physically I can’t let my reflexes and such go as well. So I’ll fool around with juggling as long as it’s fun.
If it becomes anything like what it has been, then forget it. I may or may not attempt some hard moves down the road. For now I have no goals other than to sharpen myself up a bit.

335

Just the little bit of juggling I did --literally 3 minutes of nothing, just 3 balls – has sharpened me up a little. Don’t know what’s up with that. I told The Man that I’m juggling again and he said, “Do you want me to talk you out of it?”

Felt something click a little in the knee while sitting awkwardly so didn’t walk much. Felt it again once on my walk and cut it short. Only the two times and no other symptoms.

336

Back home. Those 17 steps upstairs – ! I’ll try to triple-check everything before I leave as I don’t want to do that much.

I start lifting tomorrow – ran a bunch of errands today so was cooked.

I have 3 goals in training now –

1) Don’t get hurt.

  1. Rehab the knee at a sensible but progressive pace.

  2. Get much lighter very quickly.

I will likely keep track of some numbers. Right now they are ug-lee but if I don’t track it, I don’t improve it. That’s been my pattern anyway.

337

Weights

BP 4x5@135

Did some other stuff as well. Felt suddenly cooked so cut it short. I realized that I can’t wipe myself out in the weightroom as the rest of life takes more energy now.

338

Am getting around better but feeling some odd chunking in the knee at times. I suspect it may be due to not training the quad enough of late and the patella is getting out of place :confused: If it continues I will see the doctor.

Epsom bath last night helped my legs a lot. Will probably do it again tonight.

Today’s weights was nothing special. I’m doing inclines for now instead of flat bench. I did 3 or 4 sets of 5 w/ 135. The strength will come back – it’s only my second lift day.

339

Totally cooked after an “easy” weights day. I’ll have to watch this.

340

Weight work was just a warmup for the possible fight with the guy downstairs. I’ll go harder next time.

I did quad strength work later and bending. Both went kind of crappy with odd knee chunking in both. I suspect the culprit is not enough strengthening and bending in the last 2-3 weeks while I was really focusing on building up just walking stamina. I’ve done that enough to be able to get around but quad strengthening is a must to keep the patella positioned correctly and ROM will not increase without hard focused bending. I tried doing partial squats for bending but the knee felt odd so I stopped right away. That technique is questionable anyway. I’ll do the foot on a block in the chair method (brought a cinder block upstairs) to get another ~20 degrees. I’ll think about how to increase byond that.

341

Felt wiped out CNS wise before I even finished my warmup. All I got to was BP 155x5 and was so cooked that I knew I’d be in a stupor if I didn’t stop. I just did one set of shrugs, 2 sets of abs, one set of rows and I was done. I’m a little flat after just that.

Only thing I can figure is just walking uses up all my energy.

I’m looking for a new place to lift. I think leg extensions are what my knee needs. That, and not tripping or almost tripping a minute ago which is very dangeous.

342

I have limited recovery ability and very little tolerance for any intensity these days. But I am rehabbing my knee and must get in better shape too. So I will do a regimen of both daily.

Instead of doing hard days and trying to rest the next day which is no longer feasible, I will do gradually increasing strength daily and bending every day but probably alternating a bit in intensity there. The plan is to speed up the rehab a lot. Carefully --but progressively.

343

Have had clunking during strength work so have been fiddling around with a better method.

Today’s bend was not hard but not easy. Since I don’t have a thingy that I can’t think of the name of to measure degrees of bend I’m using a measuring tape. I got my heel to 13 I.F.A. (inches from ass). I figure I can get about 4 inches more w/ the current setup before reengineering my bend protocol. Ice, Advil, chilling.